The Middle Way

For some reason over the past few days I have heard cheerful-sounding guys who believe that we should follow our dreams, there's only one life to lead, live the one you want, you will be happy and as prosperous as you need to be.

Really.  Isn't it way more complicated than that?  Isn't all this living a series of compromises, leaving you with days that consist of some things you like to do, some things you don't, some people you love, some you like, some you don't.  And you navigate along, trying to inflict as little damage, on yourself and ones around you, as you can?  But not so self-denying that you line up for Early Check-Out?

I guess it depends on the protagonist.  I remember a conversation in my mid-20's, explaining my decision to go to law school, yeah a lot of work, but it will take me into a practice where I can do what all these other talented hard-working people do, it could lead to whatever, blah blah... I could be a star.  The guy I was talking to was very thoughtful, I figured he'd get it.  He said:  "Yeah, and good luck.  But I don't want to go for the top.  I want to go back to my home town, line up a decent job, play a lot of golf, cook a lot of barbecue, and raise a family."

At the time I was shocked.  I thought everyone wanted a shot at the top (whatever it is.)  I thought he and I were just different species, he Status Quo Man, I Sky's the Limit Man.

Indeed we were different and I'm sure we've had very different lives.  But Status Quo Man, pedestrian as he may have sounded, knew something.  He came a lot closer to the advice I started this piece with - he had a dream, he followed it, and for all I know he is supremely happy and thinks he never had to compromise a bit.  And feels not a bit boxed in by the life he now inhabits.

Sky's the Limit Man, on the other hand, sooner or later, and then more than once,  has to contend with limits lower than the sky.  Life pushes back, he compromises.  And navigates a long, complicated decision tree and finds himself, sooner or later, on a branch with, let's say, more starlings than he'd foreseen.

And he makes friends with the starlings, and it's all good.

But from time to time he looks across at one of the other branches...